Being a senior officially sucks.

I mean really, can a teen get any more lost?

My studies are quite okay, I'm stressed about it every now and then but it doesn't really get to me that much. What bothers me most right now is the bigger picture - my future. What school should I go to? What school CAN I go to?

I really am so lost right now.

My parents say that I can go to any school that I want, but I know how that's a big lie.

First of all, I have to consider the tuition fee. Of course, we can't afford a school that's too extravagant - but that's okay, I get that. However, I wouldn't want to study in a super low class school either: my mom says that I'll excel in that kind of school - that's for sure - but then, there wouldn't be a challenge in my part! I want a school where I can prove that I can still shine even when there are hundreds of us. I want a school that can give me the recognition that I deserve.

And second, I have to consider the place. Let me tell you something: a few weeks ago, I was super convinced that I want to go to UST for college - It's nice and big, I heard the masscomm course is good there, and sooo many cute guys.. Then, me and my mom had this talk, and she made me realize how hard it will be if I go there. Malayo, nagbabaha(yuck), at mahal..... naniwala ako. Ayun, back to square one ako.

Ngayon naman, gusto ko na talaga mag St. Scho. Kasi una: maganda daw ang mascom dun, pangalawa: mas mura dun kesa USTe, at pangatlo: mas malapit pa! It's the perfect school for me! Pero nung sinabi ko sa nanay ko, ayun juskopo, nakahanap nanaman ng excuse para di ako dun mag-aral. Mahal daw(san pa ba ang hindi mahal ngayon?!), baka daw maculture shock ako parang mga kuya ko(duh - dalawa na silang naganon, gaano ko katanga para tularan sila?!), at gusto nga daw niya kasi magexcel ako sa school ko, tamang may edge na daw ako(so bale, you're saying I can't handle the St. Scho girls?!). Ay nakaw talaga. Wala na, hindi nalang ako mag-aaral. Nakakainis lang. Nakakafrustrate kasi parang kulang na lang sabihin nila na sa St. Francis nalang ako magcollege. Alamu yon?! Nakakainis talaga. I mean, I have nothing against SFAC, I love my Alma Mater, kaya lang diba, gusto ko naman makarating sa ibang lugar! Makakita ng ibang tao! Eh anak ng balyenang buntis, kung dun ako, oh kaya kung within this area lang, ganun din, same people, different uniform. Inis.

Ewan ko. Ewan ko na talaga. Sabi ng mga tropa ko, saamin daw lahat, ako daw siguro pinaka magiging succesful - kasi masipag ako at matalino. Pero jusme, sa sitwasyon ngayon, parang ala na, wasak ang kinabukasan ko. Anak ng..... Hay..... Kamusta naman yun?

Ewan ko. eWAn Ko nA TaLAGa... NabABaLIW........ nABaBaLIW....%(*&453fUYhKJHIM,13413jl";',.............................